The Ways of Healing
by Inchworm16
Summary: A tale of a man trying to heal himself from a gruesome past. How to do that is the true question. Can Ichigo let the pain of the past go or will he continue to hide from the in coming future? What will he decide?
1. Chapter 1

_ I feel my lungs were on fire as I suck away the last little bit of the cancer stick in my fingers. Fuck this morning isn't going the way I need it to. This… This writing I'm doing right now is and impulse, I might not come back to this after I finally can feel my legs again. My therapist, Dr. Urahara said this would be a good idea. "Tell the world what happened to you Ichigo it might be what you need to let out of your chest." It's funny though, I don't think it will help. How cute, that he thinks that I will make a chain reaction with this tale. People are to ignorant and narrow minded to really do something about keeping things that happened to me from happening to the other little girls and boys out there. I can feel my heart clenching up in pain as I continue to write this little introduction, but I'm getting off of topic here. When is that ever a surprise. It will be easier for you to understand my babbling of words if I actually tell you the damn story._

Ichigo grit his teeth letting in a deep breath, he tied his orange hair back into a loose pony to keep strands of his hair from his eyes. He still didn't understand why he was doing this still. Maybe it was to stop Hat an' Clogs constant begs for him to do it. Maybe he just wanted to connect back with his father and sisters by making them understand why he left in such a hurry. Who knew honestly, The orangette sure didn't. He tossed the butt of his cigarette in the trash and looked into the box which was supposed to hold his nicotine and let out a growl of irritation when there wasn't anything in there to give him a momentary bliss.

"Gives me another excuse to go to the store anyway, god I need to pay attention…" He turned and saw his apartment in a mess. "Need to clean too." Even with these words of encouragement not to continue to write on that old ass computer the man turned himself back around and began to type again letting his body become engrossed with his current activity.

_ I was fifteen, beginning high school and letting the years of junior high drift away in a pleasant way. It turns out the junior high is more like getting the hormonal preteens a chance to be crazy in yet another supervised environment. I didn't really remember much of my classes, more like the fights I would always get into because of my hair color. I could almost smell the lust and stupidity as I walked into my high school on the first day. Hell it's not like most of the teenagers there were really worried about getting caught by the teachers when they were molesting each other every place they could. Not they everyone was like that. At this place it was easy for me to slip away from everyone. Hide in my own little place and actually get work done. That technique worked for a little while, but that was when people began to come and find me for help in class and to just talk to me. They say I looked like a trustworthy guy, Definitely a flip from junior high. I was almost the end of my freshmen year when I met a guy named Hichigo. I didn't really know about him at the time, but he ran into my life and made me fall on my ass, literally. He was running down the street and he slammed himself into me while I was on the phone with my dad. Yeah lame explanation of two people meeting, Yeah he didn't fly down from the cloud with a pair of feather white angel wings. Heh, that's a laugh. I can remember the conversation we had, as like any other the days after that._

_ "Hey asshole watch where you're going!" I yelled pushing the him off of me seeing who had slammed himself into me. What was more important though was to find my phone, sorry dad…_

_ "No' mai faul' damn it! Stop payin' attention at your phone and you migh' get somewhere!" He snapped back at me as he sat up. His voice was static like, gripping my body like a snake capturing his prey. I didn't know why I let my curiosity get the best of me, but it was the first mistake I could never take back. Though at the time I didn't know that. It seemed like everyday after that I saw the albino teen always walking down the street, and ironically in the halls of our school. We even had classes together. I didn't try to make it seem like I recognized him, but all of that went in the pot hole when he finally made himself to me. He waltzed into the library like he owned the place and plopped himself beside me a sly crazy grin on his face; till this day that grin gives me shivers._

_ "Hey there Ichi."_

The man sat unknowing if he could actually continue to place his memories into words. He stood from his chair and walks to the balcony doors looking out to the morning day, Ichigo was probably only writing for about an hour. For now to him that was to mush to take even if he had only written so little in that time.

"Like I'm actually going to finish, it's only a impulse showing how blocked you really are. You'll find a proper idea soon." Finally steeping from the pleasantly hot beam from the world outside the orange head made his way to the bathroom stripping himself of his clothes. Turning on the water Ichigo leans stretching his back closing his eyes for a moment to recollect his composure and to pull out his hair tie. Moments later a shower head splashes to life making lines of water hit the bathtub. The man stepped into the shower to feel the comforting hug of the water hitting every part of his tanned body, he let out a moan of appreciation from the water moving down his front wetting his lithe muscles. Just because he was introvert didn't mean he had to just sit around all day. Besides exercising relaxed him. Orange head allowed himself to be doused in the lukewarm water before srcubbing his body with the necessities.

He got out not to long after to get ready for the day ahead of him. "I think I might skip the gym today, I have to go in an talk to Hisagi anyway." Hisagi Shuhei, Ichigo's editor and publisher. They got into business together when Ichigo wrote his first novel, "The Rule of Death" It's a tale about a young boy forced to become the apprentice of Death himself. It was a best seller when it was first released, Ichigo supposed that people really like those tragic tales.

Ichigo got dressed in a button up black top with smooth looking dark blue jeans and his grey converse, man did he love his shoes. He grabbed his wallet from the kitchen counter with the keys to his car and went out the door after locking it. Can't be to careful, even in a nice town. To let the boring details slide the orange head man made it to his car and turned the little beast on leaving the parking lot of the apartment complex to head to the store, he really didn't want to hear his editor ramble and beg for the other to get his imagination in gear to write a new book. It's harder then one would think. The author's head relaxed as he listened to the radio allowing it to blare it's sweet old jazz in his ears letting the man tap the beat of the music on his stirring wheel. The music these days didn't make any sense to him. Sure there was some good music, but most made him wonder what king of drugs did the singer take before singing the shit.

The drive was short, traffic was lacking not that it was a bad thing of course. Ichigo focused on the unneeded details of the outside world surrounding his parked vehicle. He sat in his cushioned seat enjoying more silence for just a little while longer. His eyes focused on the car in front of his, it was a smooth polished black. He didn't know the brand, nor did he really care. He wasn't for good reason. There was scratches or dents tainting the car of it's up most glory. The owner took much pride in this one. He stared a little longer before opening the door and getting out. Grabbing the essentials, like his keys and wallet shoving them both in separate pockets after shutting and locking the door. Ichigo let his gaze fall back on the car hoping no one was hiding inside thinking he was some creep for staring so long. The windows were black tinted so who knew what was going on in there, maybe to love birds were getting it on with out a care that people were around them. The man smirked a little to himself thinking of how stupid that would actually be.

His feet guided him to the front doors of his editor's company, "Soul Society". Ichigo had always thought it was a tacky name, but this place got the job done. He walked inside moving easily through the many people running around ignoring him so they can get their work done. There was some new author getting a major hit, made the orangutan curious about the book. Ichigo made his way to the stairs jogging up the way to the third floor keeping out of the way from the other worker but mumbled a hello when they greeted him.

The silent man walked to Hisagi's office hearing talking within, so he did what any person would do when he really wanted to talk to his editor. He was down on a chair and opened up a newspaper to hide his face. Yes the best cliché disguise ever possible. Might as well play the part and read the little headlines within. Shitty economy, crimes, deals on cars, and then the fantastic comic section. You know the ones that have no real reason to be there other then entertain the reader because the rest makes you want to use the news as a blanket and fall right to sleep.

Ichigo's ear perked as he finally heard the door open the Hisagi's office hearing two pairs of feet steeping out of the office. His listening ears were interrupted when the newspaper rudely snagged from his hands making him look up to the man who had destroyed his hiding place.

"Well well Ichigo I didn't think you'd actually come today." Hisagi looked down to his companion smirking a little at the orangette's face as he looks up to the other. That scowl will always get this guy so far in friendships. "Come stand up I want to meet our new author Grimmjow Jaegerjaques." Ichigo stood looking to the other man, seeing his eyes immediately seeing within that this man had a burning passion for what he did, but he could see the arrogance and ego that mixed in this fiery blue eyes. Bet this guy thought he could get anyone under him, and you know what maybe he did. Ichigo didn't care.

Before Hisagi could say the orange head's name Ichigo spoke taking Grimmjow raised hand shaking it. "Ichigo Kurosaki."

"I already knew who yah were Strawberry, read your books." The bluenette smirked as he let go of Ichigo's hand shoving it back in his pocket. It didn't take to long for the bigger man to notice the scowl on the other's face grow darker. Now this guy might be fun.

"My name isn't Strawberry, it's Ichigo besides yours is fruiter then mine ever will." Yep, Ichigo didn't like this guy. An asshole to say the least. To bad Ichigo wasn't to good with retorting with words, when he was younger a black eyes would be the result of that stupid pet name. "I got stuff to do Hisagi let's get this over with." He turned from Grimmjow who scoffed from the remark but still smirking like a kid.

"Oh yeah, it'll be real quick. Cya Grimmjow." The black haired male turned from Grimmjow after giving him a slight wave and leading Ichigo to the office.

"Bye, can't wait to see you again Ichigo."

* * *

** End of chapter one. I hope you guys like this so far, and if you got any advice for me I will gladly take on your constructed criticism. This is the first story type thing that I've written in a long time. I'm excited to see how this will turn out. Hopefully I get better as I go. As long as I actually keep this story going, because this person sucks at keeping on track with stories. Wondering mind ;D I ain't the only one out there~. **

** So yeah give me any advice, what you like, and also what you hate, I'm excited to read what you guy's have in store!**


	2. Chapter 2

The two men walked in sitting in assigned seat made to the so many years ago, now staring at each other a teasing grin on the editor's lips. "I think he likes you Ichigo, I mean all that teasing." he leaned back sliding on his glasses ready to get back to his work on the copy of the story he just received.

"Or it could be more on the scale of him wanting to be a douche bag but of course you must be right." Ichigo rolled his head a leg going over the other. "Mind if I can have a cigarette? Had my last one this morning."

"Yeah," Hisagi pulls out his drawer pulling out a box and opening for the other to grab one of the sticks. "Need a light?

"No I brought my lighter with me, never leave the house without it." Fingers lightly touched the cigarette before taking out his lighter lighting the flame before inhaling the fumes into his body letting it burst from his nose creating a delightful fog between the two men. "Thanks, I needed that."

"It does seem like that's the case now listen to this, it's some of the writing Grimmjow just turned into me." Hisagi opened his mouth as he held up a piece of paper reading out loud.

The man stood over the other eyes filled with cold hatred, anger and the need for revenge had blossomed so beautifully in the beginning. So bright like the sun, but as he saw the dead mutilated figure on the cemented ground he began to think different. Was it worth destroying this man to the point the police would have to use DNA. Was it worth smashing his fucking brains in as parts of the organ lay in a mess. Did seem morally correct to be smirking and huffing for air after spending more time then necessary beating this dead corpse? So many question sped through this man's mind. He looked up to the rainy night sky opening his mouth laughing sickly. A laugh showing the lose of sanity, and finally allowing himself to be released from the bounds of the life he had before.

Here came the important thought, what was there to live on for now? To live on the run or allow himself to be thrown into prison to become some man's bitch. Funny that it's come to this. Someone who got away now dead, passes on the sin to another to bare. A gun rose to the man's head hysterical laughs still heard through out the night, until it was silenced by the blast of a gun shot.

Ichigo sat frozen his mind engulfed in the story chills rushing up his spine as he felt himself being the man pointing the gun to his head having killed another human. "Shit…"

Hisagi placed the paper back into the pile smiling widely as he stares at the other to see his reaction. "I know right, your face totally shows me that you love it. It's probably my favorite part of the job to see how someone changes from what you saw out there to the words in a story. It's amazing.

Ichigo sat up in his chair finishing the last drag of his cigarette pushing the butt in the ash try the other most graciously handed to him. " Careful your fan girl is showing again." He grinned seeing the feign panicky expression from the other when his face got more serious and business like.

"Ichigo, the reason I wanted you to come was to ask if you've started on a story. I need an update man, been almost a year since you've told me anything about writing one." Finger twiddled in the orangette's lap thoughts swirling on if he should tell his editor about the impulse of writing he had this morning.

"I've been having a hard time getting into the stories I've started, I haven't had much of an idea or a muse to make me want to continue to write the damn thing when I do."

"It's cause you don't get fucked enough."

"Now don't start that bullshit with me again Hisagi, that isn't what my problem is for the millionth time."

"Quit being so sour, you're stiff and can't get anything on the move because you don't ever relax." The editor stated his evidence trying to take this to a point to where he could drag the other out tonight.

"Yes and going out with other people will certainly make me want to relax. " Ichigo's voice oozed with sarcasm as he scowls a bit. "The last time you took me out we met that algae haired girl who almost suffocated me in her breasts. I seriously thought I was going to die!"

Whole hearing the complaints from Ichigo the other man couldn't help but laugh as he fondly remembered when Neliel suffered the orangette's face into her tits to make her boy friend at the time jealous about her cuddling another man. To bad the guy was to drunk to comprehend her doing so. Surprisingly so Ichigo wasn't enjoying the tight pillow love. He still hadn't asked him about that, not that this was the right time to do so. A topic for another time. " You're such a drama bitch, now shut up and let me explain why I want you to actually socialize tonight. It's the yearly author's get together. You know the place were everyone comes together to hang out and talk about what's happening.

"I feel like there's something in there for you if you do get me to go. It's not like you don't know everyone goes to boast about their accomplishments. " More complaints, maybe if Ichigo seemed annoying and so unlike himself enough maybe the other would get the point of the orange head being uncomfortable with going. Ichigo hated being a complaining wench, it made him angry at himself at not being able to deal with shit properly like someone else his age would but fuck it's better then losing his temper; Maybe. That seems to be an occurring word.

"Well of course something is in it for me. I look like a good person by dragging some sorry ass to the party. Come on man, please come? It won't kill you I promise. Besides your stiff ass needs to have some fun. I don't need my friend and favorite author going in prison cause he finally snapped. So how about it?"

Ichigo thought his elbows on the desk now hands holding his head up, you know what why not? It's not like there's anything he really has to lose. He knew he would be going and sitting around watching the others trying to get some ass. "Alright I'll go to your stupid party, but you owe me big time got it?"

"Yeah yeah I get it, anyways you look like you're done here so I'll let you go home and I'll pick you up. Unless you want me to give you directions.

"Hell, your skills at giving directions are worse then you on your guitar." The author smirked as he stands walking to the door winking playfully at the other feeling relaxed in the little room.

"I'll see you later." Hisagi waved his hand as he held up his pen leaning back in his seat getting back to the job he should've been doing.

The sluggish fellow left the publication building to his car leaving the place as quick as he could. He never really looked professional in his life, might as well look how you feel. He drove to a gas station buying a pack of lung murderers and went back to his house one of those delicious devils in his mouth. Ichigo walked inside his apartment eyes going to his type writer the pages full of a unfinished story. Kicking off his shoes on his way to the desk was a rare thing. Well the tiny bit of neatness went out the window when he made it to the chair finger now vigorously typing words now feeling so eager to complete. As he did so he heard Hisagi reading what Grimmjow wrote making him stop so just a moment.

"I wonder how he was able to put so much into that. One man finally getting revenge but being screwed in the end. So cliché, but still so hypnotizing. Pah, not like it's me business anyway."

_It started so sweetly, I was pulled into the red veils of deceit by those amber eyes. I was caught so easily, why though was it like that? Well this guy knew me so well, he understood me. We could talk about anything and not feel uncomfortable when we did. Sure we fought, friends always will. We ended up going into the medic's room from the split lips and black eyes. It was fun though; even if we ended up like that. I was finally able to express myself. Hichigo became very special to me, someone I could count on when I needed to get away. When my life got so uptight and stressful, I could go to him and mess of like teens my age were doing. That sweet release went so wrong as time went on, I could tell he was changing right in front of my eyes. Every time he looked at me I felt like I was trapped, but I wasn't looking for a way out._

_It all changed so rapidly that one day when we went to the medic's office and she unsurprisingly was no where to be found to monitor us so we wouldn't do anything stupid. I sat on the bed exhausted after being partnered with Hichigo in wrestling in gym, obviously we took it a little to far. I remember looking out the window. What I was looking at I can't fathom a single clue, but I can remember being dragged back to reality when I felt a hand move up my leg and cool lips touching my neck sending shivers through my body. I felt so hot, from these slight touched I already felt so aroused. I wanted more, yet I didn't say a word still surprised by his actions. _

_"__Mmm, my king I want to touch you so bad. Lemme fuck you." Wow way to be blunt there buddy, even if this guy was to years my elder, a junior to be more specific. He seemed to think that age made him seem like some expert or something, as he said before he has experience "pleasuring the male species to complete obedience." yet he called me king all the time, never my name. Only on the day he informally introduced himself._

_I knew I was a blushing mess I probably did look like a ripe strawberry ready for the picking. "N-no Hichigo, definitely not here you jackass." I grunted trying to hold back moans as he licked my ear nibbling on the lobe making me gasp like a girl. I wasn't able to take much of this. We weren't even dating either, not like it mattered to him. He always did tease me like this. Touching my every sensitive place (aka, everywhere). _

_"__Damn it you are to cute to resist though baby, I want to ravage you in every way. You are such a tease, rubbing yourself against me as were wrestling go me all buzzed up with lust." It was such a sweet way to say that, I was now like an alcoholic. Those words totally made me want to take off my pants ant bend over for him to have his way. _

_I stood from the bed and moved from him looking at him face to face, and I was frozen. I didn't know why I was unable to move, but I can say this. That face that brought me in to the world if him; now scared the hell out of me. Hichigo's eyes darkened considerably when I moved away from his grasp, it looked like a whirling vortex of emotions I couldn't specify. His lips were at a thin line, the calm expression on his face practically screamed at me that he was not amused and pissed off. I stepped back from him as he began to advance upon like a predator prowling to it's prey. _

_The wall was the only thing now keeping me from backing away from him, I had no escape. He was smirking now, wicked and cruel as he slammed his fist on the wall beside my face. "Oh my king, not wanting to fight now? By now I bet you'd have you fists raised and ready to fuck me up. But my sweet love, I know you better then that rough exterior. You're weak and pathetic, you at to kind to do that huh? I mean I've done nothing wrong." He chuckled as he pulls his fist from the wall licking the blood from his knuckles. "Don't fucking try escaping me again. You're mine."_

Ichigo stood from the chair his hands now a fist as he bit his lip taking deep breaths. If it hurt him so much to write this down then why was he so eager to do it. Was he some masochist or something!? He grit his teeth as he calmed down enough to pull out a cigarette and lighting it up to suck the much needed calming action. Not that it helped. When it came to HIM nothing made him feel better, it still hurts even after all this time.

"When can I finally forget? I need to move on." Ichigo's thoughts were shoved into a mental box when he heard a knock from the door.

"Hey Ichigo it's me Hisagi open the door!" Ichigo froze for a moment when he realized he was actually going out tonight.

"Just give me a second!" He shoved his shoes back on and walked to the door opening it to the casual looking man in front of him.

"Well better then wearing nothing, come on you ready to go?" Hisagi wore a pair of black Levi jeans and a purple tee shirt with a icon of 69 looking beautifully on it. He was a freak about that number, even having it tattooed on his cheek.

"As ready as I'll ever be." With that Ichigo grabbed his things and walked out of the apartment complex to Hisagi's car and now heading all to fast where Ichigo wasn't appreciative of going.

But like he said, what could possibly go wrong?

**Oh my god, another chapter I'm so proud of myself! Thanks to all who gave this story a favorite and reviewed. I really am grateful for the support! I hope this chapter was alright XD. Hopefully next time I can end a chapter with out the dramatic little sentence. Augh, it's a curse~. I'm going to start writing chapter three tomorrow since it's 11:10 pm where I'm at. Yeah seems early but it's late for lil old me. J thanks again for the support and I hope to read more input from all of you!**


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